| Overview | My EAP | Training | Students | E-Zine | E-Zine Archive | |||
Location: Home > KeySolutions EAP > E-Zine Archive > Personal Responsibility Personal ResponsibilityThe average person spends 90,000 hours at work in their lifetime. We generally spend more time with the people at work than we do with anyone else in our lives. It is therefore in our best interest to work on having strong work relationships. This doesn't mean that you have to be friends with everyone at work, it just means that you need to have positive relationships with co-workers that allows all involved to do the best they can at their job. Many conflicts between co-workers begin with unmet expectations around what their "relationship" will look like. Some people expect an immediate exchange of information related to family and other personal issues. Other would prefer to keep their personal information to themselves. These conflicting expectations can lead to hurt feelings, anger, feeling misunderstood, and a host of other negative reactions. All of these reactions dramatically impact morale, productivity, and a positive work environment. A good rule of thumb when things are getting out of control is to ask, "What are you here for?" Hopefully, this will pull people back to the work task at hand, and away from unrealistic expectations they may have set. After all, we are usually at work to do a job, not to make friends. Another good method to get people in sync with their co-workers is the "expectation test." This involves first asking people to write down three expectations they have of their co-workers. Next, they are asked to write down three expectations they think their co-workers have of them. This next part is crucial and often difficult for people. Take these two lists and go and present them to your co-worker. In this way, people are able to clarify what they are going to get from each other. To continue to expect something that will never happen will always lead to conflict. Many of us will be sorely disappointed if we expect someone to make a fresh pot of hazelnut coffee for us in the morning and bring us a cup as soon as we settle into our office. The following questions can help people evaluate where they are:
These are not easy questions. It may be helpful to discuss the answers you arrive at with someone you trust who will be honest if they see things differently. Throughout this process, it is important to look at how you may be able to do things differently. By setting some limits, being aware of boundaries, and looking at motivation, you may be able to change some work relationships so that they are more effective than ever. If you spend a lot of time with people that are work stifling then you have less time for those who can be work enhancing. Remember that for everything you say yes to you are saying no to something else that may be better for you. What are the core components of a positive work relationship for you? Look at the following list and choose three items that are the most important to you:
Do your co-workers have the three traits you picked? When these core components are lacking, it could lead to problems. Consider the following consequences:
It is important to remember the roles of perspective and tolerance in the work relationship. We all think that our perspective on things is right. We can spend a lot of time telling others that their perspective it wrong. This rarely leads to a positive end. Instead, try top understand the other persons point of view, and then offer yours. This leads to an increased understanding of one another and more effective interactions. In addition, we all have different tolerances. While one person may be very tolerant of a co-worker who whistles while they work, the person on the other side of them may find it very annoying. Rather than trying to convince the person that it is annoying, it is more effective to go directly to the whistler and ask them if it is possible to change their behavior as it is interfering with their productivity. Many times we are not even aware of what we are doing that is annoying. If no one tells us, it is hard to change. This leads us to the question, "How well do you know yourself?" In order to be most effective with others it is important to understand yourself. It may be helpful to ponder the following questions:
Whether looking at yourself or those around you it is imperative to understand what you can and cannot control. We cannot make people be something they are not. The only person we can control is ourselves. Therefore, take responsibility for yourself including the good, bad, and the ugly. |
|
KeySolutions Overview |
My EAP |
Training |
Students |
E-Zine |
E-Zine Archive
|
