Conflict Styles
- The Turtle (withdrawing). Turtles withdraw into their shells to avoid conflicts.
They give up their personal goals and relationships. They stay away from the issues over
which the conflict is taking place and from the people they are in conflict with. Turtles
believe it is hopeless to try to resolve conflicts. They feel helpless. They believe it
is easier to withdraw (physically and psychologically) from a conflict than to face it.
- The Shark (forcing). Sharks try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept
their solutions to the conflict. Their goals are highly important to them, and the relationship
is of minor importance. They seek to achieve their goals at all costs. They do not care if other
people like or accept them. Sharks assume that conflicts are settled by one person.
- The Teddy Bear (smoothing). To Teddy Bears, the relationship is of great importance
while their own goals are of little importance. Teddy Bears want to be accepted and like by other
people. They think that conflict should be avoided in favor of harmony and believe that conflicts
cannot be discussed without damaging relationships. They are afraid that if the conflict continues,
someone will get hurt and that would ruin the relationship. They give up their goals to preserve
the relationship. Teddy Bears say, "I'll give up my goals and let you have what you want, in order
for you to like me." Teddy Bears try to smooth over the conflict in fear of harming the relationship.
- The Fox (compromising). Foxes are moderately concerned with their own goals and about
their relationship with other people. Foxes seek a compromise. They give up part of their goals
and persuade the other person in a conflict to give up part of his goals. They seek a solutions
to conflicts where both sides gain something - the middle ground between two extreme positions.
They are willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find agreement
for the common good.
- The Owl (confronting). Owls highly value their own goals and relationships. They view
conflicts as problems to be solved and seek a solutions that achieve both their own goals and the
goals of the other person in the conflict. Owls see conflict as improving relationships by reducing
tension between two people. They try to begin a discussion that identified the conflict as a problem.
By seeking solutions that satisfy both themselves and the other person, owls maintain the relationship.
Owls are not satisfied until a solutions is found that achieves their own goals and the other person's
goals. And they are not satisfied until the tensions and negative feelings have been fully resolved.
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